YKINMK ~ Variety is the Spice of Love

18 Nov 2016 | News

There’s someone for everyone in this wonderful world, and that is especially pertinent in BDSM/kink. The acceptance of the perversions of others, the ability to experience compersion without necessarily agreeing is known enough to have coined an acronym YKINMK (Your Kink Is Not My Kink) with the implied addendum that just because it’s not my jam doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it.

This is as true in the realm of professional work. As a Dominatrix, I am just one small part in the spectrum of the adult industry, embracing the gamut of human expressions of intimacy and pleasure. One thing that I have learned is that there’s no wrong way to be kinky.

I love working with other professionals from different backgrounds and disciplines. They have taught Me the value of compassion in the workplace; that intimacy is not a dirty word; that technical skills will get you so far, but your “soft” skills – personality, bedside manner, empathy – will forge lasting bonds with the people you play with.

Sex and kink are different things for Me. Though they lean on the same resources in My body/mind, they activate different pathways. I just can’t overlap the two, My mind doesn’t work like that. I am endlessly amazed and in awe of those that can bring the two together. You might call them “hooker with a whip” as some sort of derogatory playground snipe, but to Me they are a fucking superhero. Plus I get to refer all of the enquiries that I just can’t accommodate authentically to these amazing humans that bring together in one body incredible technical skills with the ability to incorporate genuine pleasure at sexual content. Such babes!

I understand the case for the whole “not muddying the waters” nonsense in places like the US where shitty laws around sex work have made strict differentiation a strategy decision for fetish workers. I still think it is a bullshit move, but I understand why it happens. There is absolutely no reason for it in NSW where sex work is decriminalised. In QLD, VIC & the ACT sex work is legal and incorporates BDSM content so again there’s nothing to be gained by climbing on the backs of our colleagues to proclaim ourselves as “better”.

Offering full or mixed services does not make someone any less skilled at being a totally boss bitch. It does not make them less dominant, more submissive. It makes them fucking awesome.

If you are interested in exploring kink content alongside sexual, sensual or erotic content, I would love to refer you to one of My amazing friends or you can join us for a decadent deviant double. Contact Me submit@misspenelopedreadful.com