Each week I receive requests from self-proclaimed submissives and slaves to be My personal slave.

They then proceed to describe what they want, how I should have them serve Me, how they should be rewarded or punished, their fantasy of  being forced by Me to serve My male lover, clean My sheets, rearrange My shoe collection, lick My naked body from tip to toe…

And while My response is a firm “no” and the email equivalent of a rolled magazine smack across the nose, this doesn’t seem to educate them. They simply drift across cyberspace, inflicting their fantasies of “service” onto others and complaining that no Mistress will take them.

So here is an open letter to burgeoning submissives, slaves and those that aspire to be owned.

Service is about serving. It is about fulfilling and anticipating the desires of the One being served, and making their life better through your actions.

I’m going to give you a few tips from My years as a professional and lifestyle dominant woman.

  1. If you have little to no real time experience, address this first.
    Attend parties and workshops and munches in your city. Watch the other people and see how they play.
    Make an appointment and see a professional Mistress and try everything that She has to offer.
    Keep a journal of your experiences, your likes and dislikes and curiousities. Re-read it often to see how you’re evolving.
  2. Read widely.
    Read everything by greenery press and Jay Wiseman. Absorb it.
    If you find you want to be a slave, be owned, possessed or collared, I strongly recommend reading Mistress Abernathy’s slavehood omnibus. It will give you a structure with which you can consider your future development.
  3. If your intention is to be owned and serve a Mistress, develop skill sets that will make their lives easier.
    Take a reflexology course or massage therapy.
    Practice pedicures on yourself or friends.
    Get domestic! Learn to iron, sew, cook several dishes exceptionally well (minimum 1 breakfast, 1 salad, 2 dinners, 1 dessert, and a portable snack), clean shoes (properly, with polish) and other chores that Mistress might require of you.
    Ask a Mistress that you’d like to court if there is any way that you can make her life easier /better or if there is a gift you could get Her. You’re worried about your budget? Write Her some poetry, a psalm, a really lovely letter.
  4. Look after yourself, treat your body as an homage to Mistress.
    If you’re not fit, get fit. Eat better and exercise more.
    Groom yourself. You don’t need to go hairless, though you can. Just pay attention to your presentation.
    You have a cupboard full of old clothes and scuffed shoes? Slowly replace them with something nice.
    Haven’t been to the dentist in years? Go! Teeth are important to your health.
    Learn how to meditate, to calm your body and mind.

It’s not hard to impress a Mistress but this does bring the adage to mind “you get out what you put in”. If you’re not prepared to put the effort in to exploring and developing yourself, don’t expect Us to leap at the chance.

So give yourself a righteous kick and get your arse into gear, the only thing holding you back is a lack of effort and commitment on your part.

I wish you all the best of luck with your search.