I often get asked “How did You become a Mistress?”. This post is a response to this question, and to the questions I’ve been getting lately regarding training other women to be professional Dominatrices.
The short answer is that I picked up My phone and I made a call. This isn’t technically true…I actually did a little google research and then sent some emails to The Kastle and to Salon Kittys. I got a very nice “fuck off” email from Salon Kittys – I found out later that they avoid training as much as they can, especially complete n00bs like Me – and a “Come in and have a chat” email from The Kastle.
I went in (straight from My vanilla job, in My pinstriped suit and blouse) and had an interview on a Thursday afternoon in 2007, and three days later I had My first voyeur shift. From that point on I was on roster a minimum of three shifts a week, two weeknights and every Sunday. In the four years that I was there, I trained approximately 30 girls a year that wandered through the door. Out of a potential 120 candidates, 3 became excellent Mistresses in their own right. Mistress Saleme is the only one still operating, and I would happily recommend Her to subs seeking a stern, curvaceous Mistress, Sadist and fetishist.
What’s the best way to way to become a professional Mistress?
This is just My opinion and reflects My experiences and My business ethics.
You should keep your day job, at least until you’re breaking even and achieving excess from BDSM sessions. If your passion is paying your rent, the passion will start to die. Seriously consider working in one of the houses. It is not easy. It is hard, it is political, it is a room full of ego and estrogen. But if you can do an excellent session in a house situation and maintain your personality, your vitality and your love for kink, then it is a very solid start. Invest in your education. Buy books (and READ them). Attend workshops. Network with people that will help build you up and that you can positively contribute to. Don’t confuse networking with socialising with people that will stroke your ego and steal your energy. Get a sub with some experience that can give you feedback on your practice (fetlife.com or collarme.com). If you’d like to train under an independent Mistress, contact Her respectfully. She might be busy, or not interested. Respect Her stance on the subject, it’s Her time and effort that you’re asking for and She doesn’t have to say yes.
To read the letter that I sent at the start of My apprenticeship, read on…
Dear Mistress Scarlett,I’d like to apply to be one of your apprentices at The Kastle.I have had no previous experience in the adult industry, and have only been involved in BDSM at a personal level. However, I am an eager and avid student and love to engage and excel in my work.My stats are: 20 years old, 171cm in bare feet, 60kg across a feminine frame. I prefer to be dominant in a given situation (either physically or psychologically) and enjoy engaging with people. I derive satisfaction from giving satisfaction – be this at work, home, play or between friends.I do have a full-time job (37.5hrs Mon-Fri) working in Marketing and Events and moved to Sydney from a small town in rural NSW at the start of last year. I would consider any undertakings at the Kastle as equal to this work.I would love the opportunity to come and visit the Kastle (in all its glory) and find out whether I could be deemed suitable to learn an art from the finest Mistresses in Sydney.Is there a suitable time that I can call you or arrange a visit?Respectfully Yours