A little while ago, I set some homework for a currently-long-distance slave of Mine. It’s just a little essay on something that I thought was interesting and possibly a little familiar for those of us that work in the white collar world.

“It is better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission”

An interesting little mindset, isn’t it? I can promise you that a submissive’s interpretation of this concept is the subject of very long discussions between Dominants in forums and in RT. It is the reason that some slaves have been abjured by their Dom/mes, and quite likely also the reason that some subs or slaves have left their Dom/mes.

I’ve included his response to My discussion request below. I will be putting My own thoughts on the subject up in five days, allowing for some digestion. If you’d like to share your thoughts, I look forward to receiving them. Who knows? The best response could end up on the blog!


Permission or Forgiveness

Posted on

It is better to beg for permission.

As many may believe, this is typically what a submissive would think, however not so in my opinion. Seeking forgiveness is seemingly a rather bratty thing to do (when in a dominant / submissive D/S context). More or less a ‘do something and expect a punishment for what was done’ afterwards.  My opinion on this matter is not from the submissive sense, rather than the internal conflict which would be raised If i believed what I have decided to do has made an undesirable situation for the person who I should of asked! And who knows, no one ever said you still cant be punished for doing what you were told was ok! Although I do talk about this, from my own opinion, I just wanted to put it out there, that I am not blindly saying this because I believe that every Submissive should!

In a context as to where the power lies, begging for permission places the decision, and responsibility in the hands of the person making the decision. Seeking forgiveness means the person has taken it upon themselves to make the decision and take the responsibility for their actions. It could be seen as a someone has given power to another person in a D/ S context.

Imagine for a moment, this example. You truly want to see a show, a theatre production, and to do this you have to excuse yourself from something which is arranged and your presence has been requested. If you explain your motive, and show how badly you want to see it, you may be required to do something, or go wearing something you would not normally do, or have something happen so that you can obtain permission to go. Rather than just going and having to apologise or seek forgiveness, especially if you lied!. There are countless other examples, but things that are common sense (ie medical emergencies etc) are excluded from this obviously!

In a non D/S aspect, or strictly speaking, in outside environments where people may need to make a snap decision which does not permit time, then by all means. Many people make decisions like this, likely without even giving it a second thought in a work environment. Workplace environments which are heavily bound by paperwork and procedure essentially are the opposite, obstructing freedom to act. If a person acts then they are easily found, and it usually falls into a catagory of they are either a superhero (if everything worked out very well) or a zero (it didnt!). But I digress, this is certainly not on topic, nor interesting!

or is it?

It could be seen that being punished is far more interesting then a simple “may I please have some more?” and in response “Moooorreeeee?” but as seen the simple act of asking meant, in this case Oliver broke out in a song, but the cost of obtaining permission may be far more interesting than the punishment. Punishment, not ‘fun’ punishment, is not what would be highly desirable. Wanting attention for an action, and having to count the amount of dimples on the wall in the corner by yourself for the next two hours would be a far contrast from having to do a less ‘punishing’ task because you respected the person enough to ask before doing!. By doing something which in the end antagonises the one person you do not want antagonised, it may not give the desired result (if the desire is to have the attention!).

So still, after all being said, It is. It is much better to beg for permission then seek forgiveness! In my opinion of course, and preferably, in appropriate attire, kneeling, and ending with a “I will do anything if you let me” helps!


I don't demand your submission, I inspire it...

My monthly newsletter is full of tasty treats. Session availability, special offers, exciting and potentially terrible ideas. Puns. Definitely puns. You were warned.

You have Successfully Subscribed!